The Great Steam Roundup – Episode 14

So this time I figured I’d do something a little different. It’s summer time and that means massive Steam sales ahoy! Of course, I really haven’t gotten that much as I’ve been pretty strapped this summer, but it does mean that I’ve gotten at least SOMETHING, although some of that something isn’t that great. So today, I’m providing these in order of worst to best.


Current Selling Price: $9.99

When they say “short story,” they’re not joking. The game plays more like a story than a game. Granted, it is kinda cool in that the game actually does “evolve” as you play it, but it does so as a sort of history lesson more than anything. The problem here is that though I can still say it qualifies as a game, it does so only barely.

I’m not even saying it isn’t interesting, it’s just that it isn’t that fun. If you’re looking for a game that shows both retro and new age stuff with a definitive oldschool feel, well, there are plenty of those out there…and this isn’t it. Now, if you’re looking for something that operates somewhat like a game, but is more a history lesson about certain types of games, hey, go nuts.

This game really didn’t appeal to me. True, I haven’t beaten it so maybe it will get better. Maybe. I’m not putting money on it getting better, though. So far all that’s happened is Gameboy Zelda turned into GBA Zelda which then turned into not quite Final Fantasy 4. It’s an interesting concept, but again, remember that it is a…”short story.”

Fist Puncher

Current Selling Price: $9.99

Ah, Fist Puncher. A while back, I was super hyped about this game. I mean, come on. It’s a throwback to classic 80s and 90s brawlers with modern concepts like leveling up a la Castle Crashers or Guardian Heroes. And yet, it falls short. How so? Well sure, there are a ton of characters to unlock as you trudge through the streets, beating up all kinds of baddies…but most of them are pretty lame.

In fact, most of the starting characters are kinda crappy, too. Once you get the ex-cop, you really don’t need any other characters. Besides that, the enemies aren’t that fun to beat up and take too long to beat up. Nevermind that it’s pretty easy because all you do is mash the attack button while moving…yes, while moving. You don’t stop to attack like in other brawlers.

The bosses are ridiculously overpowered and not fun to fight at all, the music is meh at best, and while there is an interesting amount of level variety, it never really goes anywhere. If you’re looking for another brawler and you’ve tried all the rest, I guess you could get this one since it’s cheap, but it’s really not that impressive.

Two Worlds 2

Current Selling Price: $29.99

Have you played Witcher 2, any of the Fable games, or Kingdoms of Amalur? Then you’ve already played this game. Well, maybe I’m not being entirely fair. The thing about 2 Worlds 2…err…Two Worlds 2…yeah…is that it’s very…very…I can’t quite put my finger on it. It reminds me of Divinity 2 – Dragon Knight Saga.

It’s just compelling enough that the crappy parts are easy to overlook. It’s not very good, but from a technical and backend angle, there’s a lot going on. Even from moment go, you’re able to upgrade so many interesting features about your character that will evolve him, over time, into an interesting super class.

I haven’t really played a whole lot into this one, but I can definitely say it doesn’t do itself justice with some of the intro stuff as it does become more interesting over time, even having only played about 10 hours into it. It’s definitely worth a look if you enjoyed the other action/RPG titles I just mentioned.


Current Selling Price: $9.99

Do you remember Robotron? If so, buy this game. NOW. If not, alright, here goes. Some of you might just dismiss this as just some twinstick shooter and that’s it. You’re doing yourself a disservice, really. It’s fast, fun, all trance-y, and has a shit ton of upgrades available between missions.

You will lose track of time to the point that not only have you beaten it (it’s not THAT hard), but then you’ll keep playing and playing and playing. Plot? You want a plot? Okay, you’re the last “human” left and the droids are after you. Bam. Done. Really, in a game like this, you don’t need no steenkin’ plot.

If you like retro stylized shooters, I don’t know why you wouldn’t have this game. If you like Robotron, this is a must have. If you have a pulse, you must own this game. Seriously. Action and shmup afficianados alike will love this game. I’m honestly not sure what else to say, so here’s a fluff sentence. BUY IT.

Rogue Legacy

Current Selling Price: $14.99

What if Castlevania: Symphony of the Night and a roguelike had a baby? Well, that baby would be monstrous, but its name would be none other than Rogue Legacy. In RL, you attempt to trudge through a randomly generated castle, collecting as much money as possible, beating back baddies, gathering up blueprints and runes, and hopefully taking out a boss or two.

The goal is to take out the four main bosses from the five different areas of the castle, then proceed to the main antechamber where you’ll fight the final bosses. Of course, you won’t survive. Neither will your child. Or your children’s children. And so on. What gives? Well see, the only way you improve is by spending money outside the castle to build up your fort and buy new equipment and runes…but once you enter the castle, you don’t leave.

Your children will take your place when you die, first starting at the fort to build stuff up, then arriving at the castle to start the journey over again anew. With all the ridiculous classes, traits, skills, equipment, and all the rest, the game constantly presents itself as an original challenge each time and is addictive as hell. If you like roguelikes, SotN, or both, you owe it to yourself to pick this up.


Honestly, the first two are a little hard to recommend, but the last three are especially fun titles worth delving into. The best part is all three are on sale RIGHT NOW on Steam for way less than I’ve posted (as of 7/19/2013). If any of them interest you, then FOR GOD’S SAKE MAN WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE. GET ‘EM.


Filed under PC, Retro, Steam Roundup, Videogames

3 responses to “The Great Steam Roundup – Episode 14

  1. Disappointed by Evoland 😦 I haven’t played it, but I’ve heard pretty much everyone say that it’s more of a history lesson. I use YouTube for my quick nostalgia trips, and they’re free. If I’m paying, then I want to play for a decent amount of time.

    As for Ultratron, hadn’t even heard of it, so I’m leaving now to buy it. Bye!

    • If you’re interested in Ultratron, you’ll be pleased to know that ALL of Puppy Games’ stuff is on sale right now. If their other stuff is anything like Ultratron, it’s worth it.

  2. Pingback: Games Ideas – Martial Arts and Crafts | Gun Sage's Blog

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